Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I love dreams!

I think I read into dreams so much but honestly I feel like it is a way that my heavenly father speaks to me. My grandma visited me in a dream and I just feel like dreams are ways I get many answers to my prayers. Well I had a dream last night that I just have to share so I don't forget it but after I had Sienna I wished so badly that I was able to have some time with her before she passed away. I wished I was able to see the life in her instead of her limp body. That was so hard for me. It was hard for me to read mothers stories that got that and I wished so badly that I could have that. Well I know this sounds weird but last night I dreamt about my delivery and this time she had life in her. I had a dream that I delivered her and she was still alive. The doctor said it was a matter of hours before she passed away and I just remember in my dream her looking up at me and seeing that bond that we had and changing her first/last diaper and just holding her in my arms with her moving. I wanted to cry with excitement when I woke up because in my dreams I was able to hold my baby girl and see her stare back at me. I think heavenly father knew that I wanted that so bad so he made it come true in my dreams. I feel like I got a little bit more closure even after I woke up and yet it made me so baby hungry to hold my own baby in my arms again and see those precious eyes staring back at me. I know I have my son but I try to hold him and cuddle him but can you imagine an almost 3 year old cuddling like that. There is no way except for when he is sleeping. But it just made me so happy that I got to have the bond with my angel in my dreams. I love you sweet girl!!!
I also wanted to share that last weekend as I went on a trip with my husband which was muchly needed I thought to myself as we were driving I am finally starting to feel truly happy again since I have had Sienna. I actually smiled for real instead of forcing it out of me. I actually felt like I will be okay that I can make it and I am seeing the end of this depression and the beginning of my happiness again. I am not going to lie I know I will still have days that I just want to lock myself in my room and cry but I am actually seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Things are starting to move along with Quin's job searching and it is bringing so much more hope to when we can have another beautiful baby.
I am starting to love life again and each day is getting better!:)

8 comments:

Trish the Dish said...

I too know that Heavenly Father can and does comunicate with us through dreams. Obviously not every single dream sticks out to me as an answer to my prayers. But there are a few times when I KNOW that Heavenly Father was answering my prayers in a dream. I am so happy for you that you got to experience that! I don't think there's anything closer to real life than a dream. I am so glad that things are looking up in Quin's job search! I'm eager to hear all about it! Sending love!

Jeana said...

What a special experience. So glad that you are feeling more happiness and that things are coming together for Quin's work.

Mary said...

I miss having those kind of dreams. I am glad you got to dream of your little girl.

Owen and Krae said...

I'm so glad you had a dream of little Sienna and that Quin's job hunting is going better! I hope she visits you in your dreams often. :) We love you!

My New Normal said...

What a lovely dream, and so glad you are feeling more positive. It's a nice feeling isn't it?

Oh, and I wanted you to know that I've given you an award for your blog. Please stop by my blog to pick it up.

Angie said...

Yay! I truly believe dreams are a way of communication and healing. I know that my dreams of my brother have helped me and my family so much! Our Heavenly Father knows what we need and when we need it and I am grateful that you received a bit of healing and happiness! I love ya! :)

Holly said...

My Carleigh was born still and I've only had one dream of her and in that dream I was delivering her all over again but this time she was born alive and it was AMAZING! I woke up though before she could pass away. i was so thankful for that dream

Anonymous said...

An amazing book to read if you ever lost someone you love is Heaven is for Real, by Todd Burpo. Wow wow wow.