My healing project

So for forever I have been wanting to make a patch blanket out of the left over material that Sienna was wrapped in and I finally bought the material to make the blanket. The pink material is what is the left over stuff and the patch material will be the front of the blanket and the back of the blanket I will do a pattern with the white and pink material. I am very excited about this. I have never sewn a blanket but I have an amazing patient mom who will teach me. I will post pictures when I am done. Hopefully I will finish it in the next couple of weeks.

I have been struggling on and off for the past month and a half but I am trying to do projects to keep myself busy. I think I have too many projects that I have wanted to do that it is becoming overwhelming but I am starting one at a time. I have a memory box that I just bought to put all of Sienna's stuff in it and I want to decorate it a little more. But I am not babysitting my niece anymore which I think will help me heal a little bit cause it was hard watching her cause she reminded me of Sienna so much. Conference also helped me to an extent but I know it won't heal me overnight. There were some great talks that gave me peace and comfort though.

I am just taking it a day at a time now. And learning to love my new normal. Loosing Sienna has changed me forever and it is hard cause I am not the spunky happy person all the time and I have lost some friends cause they just don't know what to say around me anymore which is sad but I have also gained some amazing friends who have helped me along the way. This is who I am now. I am a mother who has lost a child and I will never be the same and I am grateful for those who have accepted me for who I am now. I am trying to find ways to pay it forward in honor of Sienna so that is another project I am searching for. I am looking forward to having a rainbow baby and can't wait to find out when I am pregnant. But for now I will take baby steps to healing.