I can't believe it was a year ago that I last got to hold you in my arms and kiss your cute little face. My how time flies! I have definitely had a roller coaster of emotions this past year good and bad and yet I am grateful to be where I am at today in life! Even though you didn't make it to this earth I feel so blessed to have you. I feel like we have connected so much this past year and I know we have a special bond. I especially love that our birthdays are only 2 days apart because I felt you a huge part of my birthday.
I have felt you several times this year through our trials of your dad getting his appendix removed. I know you where right by his side when he went in for surgery. And I felt you a ton during my miscarriage. That was so hard for me but you brought me such peace and comfort and helped me to understand that some of my kids didn't need to make it to this earth. You watch over that special spirit for me and I look forward to seeing both of you. Please send me one soon though;) I long to hold a baby in my arms.
I have also felt your hand in guiding daddy to his new job and saving him from getting laid off this year and also helping us to our new home. I look forward to moving and I felt like we have been drawn to this place and look forward to seeing the reason why.
I have met many amazing people through loosing you that I have developed close relationships with. I look up to many of these people as they helped me through every step in this healing process and I know it isn't over until I get to see you again.
Sienna my love for the gospel has grown immensely this past year and if it wasn't for loosing you I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. I have the strongest desire to be good and never make mistakes. I listen to better music, I love to go to church, I love to attend the temple as often as I can, and I love searching the scriptures. I am happier when I follow the commandments and I know I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for you.
Your sweet brother Gavin loves you so much. He got so excited this morning that it was your birthday and is excited to give you his present he picked out for you tonight. I can tell you have such a close bond and I feel like Gavin is an angel too. He has been the best kid I can ask for. Whenever I am crying over you he will bring me his froggy to help me feel better. I bet you are just like him!
Your dad is one amazing man which I am sure you already know. I am the luckiest woman to have him in my life. I feel like there is no one more perfect for me. He loves you so very much and I love when I hear him talking about you. You already have him wrapped around your finger. Just wait till we get to heaven and I am sure he would do anything for you too.
Sienna I know we have a long road ahead before we will be able to see you but I love that I feel your spirit often and I hope it will never go away. I am lucky and honored to have chosen you as my daughter and to have carried this trial because it has made me the woman I am today. Just know that we think of you often and are so thrilled to have you apart of our lives. Thanks for blessing us in more ways then you know. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I am living, my baby you'll be!!!
Love,
Your Forever Mom
