Saturday, October 30, 2010
I have to share a story of the relationship that Gavin has with his sister. Before I even got pregnant with Sienna I knew it was a girl. Last December I had dreams every night for a week of Gavin playing with his sister. In my dreams she was about the same age as Gavin and they were always playing in his room. She had blonde curly hair and was always smiling. Sometimes they were in the crib together and sometimes they were playing with toys. But I had these dreams constantly so I finally told Quin that we had to get pregnant cause I know there is someone up there and that it was a girl. Quin was a little hesitant cause it is a lot of responsibility to bring another child in this world but one Sunday we fasted and prayed about it and that Sunday Quin looked up insurances to put me on so we could get pregnant cause he felt the same way. Two months later I got pregnant. Before I found out the gender I was confident it was a girl and sure enough it was. My dreams had come true and Gavin will get to play with his little sister.
When I found out the issues she would had and that she would not make it to this earth I felt like my dreams were crashing and that they won't come true and Gavin won't get to play with his little sister. I had moments where I was mad that I had those dreams cause why would my dreams get my hopes ups and then not come true.
I had explained this story to Jennifer who had done my photography of Sienna while I was doing her hair. I told her of the pains I had about it. She first asked when I told her about my dreams about the age Sienna was. When I told her she was about the same age as Gavin she said that my dreams were happening here on this earth right now and that is Sienna's spirits age up in heaven and she will be that age until I join her in heaven and raise her. She asked if I have heard Gavin talking and playing alone in his room and I have. He always talks to his lamby and I honestly believe his lamby is his sister to him. He talks to her and holds her all the time.
Just a couple days ago when I woke up at 5:30 to go running I could hear him mumbling in his room and I thought that was really early for him to be up and talking. I went out running and came home while I was stretching I heard him talking again so I went and stood next to his door to hear what he was saying. He kept saying over and over again "Its okay lamby." He then told her that "mommy will turn off the light soon and you sit right here." I had the light on the hallway on so I turned it off and then it was silence. Gavin is being her little protector even though she is in heaven right now. I love the connection that they have and I hope that they have that connection the rest of their life.