Tuesday, November 2, 2010

One Day I will



Well today was one of those days where things were going great. I ran 5 miles with friends this morning, went to the gym and lifted weights, and came home and took my sweet time getting ready. I felt like it was going to be a great day until... I had an appointment with my doctor today to get an iud in. Me and my husband had discussed it would be the best option for us right now especially seeing that pills would be so much every month and my iud would be free seeing this is my last month on insurance. I was so excited going in and knowing I don't have to take a pill everyday and this would be so nice. Well after the appointment I thought I was still okay until I sat in my car and it hit me that I really did a beautiful baby girl a month ago and that it will be a while before I will have another and that is when I just broke down into tears.
It was a long drive home and I don't know if you have ever been driving and you look over and see someone crying hysterically. Well today that was what a lot of people saw as they were driving along side of me. I felt so ridiculous as I was bawling but I could not hold it in. They whole way home I talked to Sienna and told her how much I loved her and that I was so sorry for everything that she had to go through. I told her to hold her mommy tonight cause I needed her.
As I was driving home I was also listening to Lady Antebellum cause my amazing friend invited me to go to the concert tonight cause she felt like I needed a night out and I am sure glad that she listened to those promptings to invite me cause I sure do but one of their songs came on that brought me peace. It is called one day you will and it talked about how we are in pain right now but one day we will find peace.
I know I will have good days and bad days but that song brought me comfort to know that one day I will look back at this experience and it will bring me more peace then it will pain. You have to watch this video and listen to the words cause if any of you are going through trials out there like me I hope that you will one day find peace and keep holding on.

4 comments:

Becca said...

Lots of virtual hugs coming your way, Teresa. I was thinking about you today, too. Wondering if you'd still blog. I'm glad you are still blogging - it'll do you good, and I hope you'll remember that you have so many people that feel privileged to have followed along with you and Sienna for even a short time.

Jenny said...

Beautiful song, beautiful video. My heart breaks for you knowing how sad you were today...I am glad you found some comfort in this song...And writing on Siennas blog may help the healing...We are all here for you!

Tracy said...

Teresa~
I'm so glad that you able to see your "One Day" even if it isn't here now. When we lost Hannah, I couldn't see our next minute. But here we are...loving Jack. Still mindfull of our Hannah, but loving Jack. Hang on to your "One Day." I still do!

Holly Wolly said...

I can't even begin to imagine the pain you're still going through...but I would think these days are going to creep in for a while...thinking of you...