Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Roller Coasters aren't fun!

I can't wait for this roller coaster to be over. Today we finally got to measure her after 3 weeks and I was hoping it was good cause the doctor was so optimistic about everything last week. But she hasn't really grown. She was almost 400 grams last time they measured her and she was 410 grams this week and they say babies are suppose to grow 100 grams a week so she has barely grown 10 grams and is still well under a pound. She is measuring 21 weeks and I am over 30 weeks. They said it is just a matter of time until she passes away. They are sending me back to my original doctor since they can't do much anymore so I will go to her every week to hear the heart beat and once the heart stops then they will deliver me and they just want to make sure I don't go into preclampsia. And plus it is extremely hard for me to feel her anymore, so hearing the heart beat will be the only way to know if she is alive every week.
They are setting up an appointment for me to meet with Angel Watch so I can plan how I want the delivery to go, what things I want to keep, and to plan the funeral services. They don't think it is much longer at the rate she is growing it will eventually stop soon. I don't have to be on bed rest anymore since there is no hope. She said to just enjoy every day right now and go forward with life.
Wow the roller coaster of emotions have been so much for me to handle. Sienna really has changed my life. My testimony has really grown and I know she has changed many peoples lives. I can tell she has fullfilled her mission here on this earth because of the lives she has blessed. I know she will continue to bless our lives even after she goes. Like Gavin says "Baby sister wants to be with Jesus." And personally I don't blame her. Who wouldn't want to be with him. She is one lucky girl! And I am a lucky mommy to have carried her.

18 comments:

Rochelle said...

Teresa,

We too were hoping for better news on her measurements. God's plan is wonderful even if we don't always understand it.
We will keep praying for Sienna & your whole family.

Looking Up said...

I was so hoping for better news. My heart breaks for you & your family. Praying that you feel God's peace.

Becca said...

This is so heartbreaking. I have been waiting, hopefully, for good news. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking about all of you.

Owen and Krae said...

Well... Sienna has definitely changed my life in so many ways. We've been praying for a miracle, when SHE was the miracle all along. She has taught me so much! She has made me so grateful for my own little girl and has reminded me the importance of Heavenly Father's plan and the reality that families can be together forever. She has touched a very special place in my heart and I absolutely cannot wait to meet her, whether it's in this life, or the next. :) She truly IS a very special little girl. :)

Angie said...

She is a very special little spirit - one who will continue on in the presence of her Heavenly Father but will be yours forever! What a sweet little girl she is and what a sweet mommy she has. I pray for you daily and hope you have been blessed with the comfort and knowledge you need to get through this hard time. You have so much love and support around you so grab a hold of it, we are here for you. Anything you need just let us know! We love you guys!

S said...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}

Jenny said...

So sorry to hear...you have shown amazing strength through everything, any child would be blessed to have you for a Mother! I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Carrie said...

I can't imagine how you must be feeling with that news. I hope and pray that you will feel the love of our Heavenly Father and that you will have comfort in His plan. ((HUGS))

The Stones said...

We love you guys!

Tay :) said...

I am so sorry to here this, but also glad. I know Sienna will love being in our hevaenly fathers arms and one day, only God knows when that will be, you will all be together as a family!
Hugs and prayers xo

Ashley said...

Praying for you and your family...and for a miracle for Sienna

Ashley said...

Also, wanted to let you know that if you need someone to talk to or have any questions, you can email me at dearlauralovesissy@gmail.com

skiingthroughlife said...

praying for a miracle. praying for your peace and all the while praising God for his mighty plan and Grace to guide us.

Hugs

skiingthroughlife said...

praying for a miracle. praying for your peace and all the while praising God for his mighty plan and Grace to guide us.

Hugs

Steph said...

Oh my goodness...I am so sorry...I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

Sending you a great big hug!

Prayers are being sent for you and your sweet girl.

Blessings

thetaooftulips said...

Love and prayers to your sweet family. Sienna is a little fighter!

Jeana said...

I'm so sorry that she hasn't grown very much. Praying for your family and your little fighter.

MaggieMae said...

My prayers and thoughts are with you. I cannot imagine how difficult this has been and will be to go through. Remember, the Miracle of Sienna is still as much of a miracle whether she lives 6 months in utero or 60 years on earth. May God hold you all in the palm of his hand when the time comes to take his and your angel home.