Roller Coasters aren't fun!

I can't wait for this roller coaster to be over. Today we finally got to measure her after 3 weeks and I was hoping it was good cause the doctor was so optimistic about everything last week. But she hasn't really grown. She was almost 400 grams last time they measured her and she was 410 grams this week and they say babies are suppose to grow 100 grams a week so she has barely grown 10 grams and is still well under a pound. She is measuring 21 weeks and I am over 30 weeks. They said it is just a matter of time until she passes away. They are sending me back to my original doctor since they can't do much anymore so I will go to her every week to hear the heart beat and once the heart stops then they will deliver me and they just want to make sure I don't go into preclampsia. And plus it is extremely hard for me to feel her anymore, so hearing the heart beat will be the only way to know if she is alive every week.
They are setting up an appointment for me to meet with Angel Watch so I can plan how I want the delivery to go, what things I want to keep, and to plan the funeral services. They don't think it is much longer at the rate she is growing it will eventually stop soon. I don't have to be on bed rest anymore since there is no hope. She said to just enjoy every day right now and go forward with life.
Wow the roller coaster of emotions have been so much for me to handle. Sienna really has changed my life. My testimony has really grown and I know she has changed many peoples lives. I can tell she has fullfilled her mission here on this earth because of the lives she has blessed. I know she will continue to bless our lives even after she goes. Like Gavin says "Baby sister wants to be with Jesus." And personally I don't blame her. Who wouldn't want to be with him. She is one lucky girl! And I am a lucky mommy to have carried her.