She is still alive which was a huge surprise because I hadn't felt her kick since Saturday night and I honestly thought we would go in this morning and see her heart stopped but this girl is a fighter!! She sure has been proving the doctors wrong cause they thought she wouldn't last this long. Everything is pretty much the same. She hasn't gotten better but at the same time she hasn't gotten worse which is good. The doctor told me it would be harder for me to feel her cause she is so tiny so that is normal that I didn't feel her yesterday. They still didn't measure her because of how small she still is that the measurements wouldn't be accurate. They will for sure do the measurements next week cause it will be accurate by then. The doctor also said which I still am having a hard time understanding but he said my placenta has trisomy 21 too and that is why she is developing so slowly but he believes she is growing but at such a slow pace but enough to keep her alive. He was so optimistic today and we scheduled my next three weeks of appointments out because he thinks since she has lived this long that she could possibly go much longer. All in all it was a great appointment.
I am so happy she is still here because yesterday was so hard when I didn't feel her move. It was like reality hit and I knew she wouldn't make it and I didn't want that. I want her here. And each week she gives me a tiny glimpse of hope when I see her still alive. Yesterday was such a spiritual day at church, in our classes we talked about bad things that happen to good people and also the trials that we get that are too hard to handle. I felt that those talks were just for me because it helped me to have more peace with things.
So I guess we just take it a week at a time still. I just have to stay as busy as I can so I can get through these weeks faster and not think about it so much. I still feel frozen in time right now and I know when this is all over I will wonder why I was so depressed about everything. But for now I will try and make it through this emotional roller coaster.