Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The joys a kick can bring

Since my grandma passed away Monday night I hadn't felt Sienna move inside of me. Today I laid on my bed for over an hour holding my stomach hoping I would feel her and I felt nothing. Then I started thinking she probably passed away with my grandma. I have 2 doctors and my main one called me today after talking to the other doctor to make sure they were on the same page. She confirmed that they think Sienna will pass away before full term and they said I have an option to deliver her early but they don't know if she will survive long after that and I could just hold her and let her pass away in my arms or I could try to go full term and deliver by primary children's hospital so they can take her as soon as I have her and see if there is any chance for her but that is if I even make it to full term. I had an appointment at the salon tonight which was hard for me to go after hearing the news again that my child won't make it and crying my eyes out again but I knew it would be good for me to go and do what I love. I am glad I went cause my client was a sweet nurse who was so comforting and talked about all the miracles that do happen. I do believe in miracles but I don't want to get my hopes up. I am planning on Sienna passing away and have already started the grieving process. I know it is in heavenly fathers plan and he knows what is best for her. But after my appointment tonight I sat as I read e-mails and I felt kick after kick from Sienna, it was like her telling me she is still here for now. It seems like she moves more when I am happy and relaxed so my goal is to enjoy her while I can cause every kick I feel from her is a miracle.

18 comments:

Adrienne said...

I am so sorry to read this about your baby girl. I will pray that Sienna will hold on and start to grow as she should. This is all in God's hands and he has a plan for you and that this girl so don't give up hope.

marbusand said...

You have such a good attitude, Teresa. I love reading your posts...I have learned so much from you. Thank you for sharing a little bit of you with all of us. Marlyce

Lioralourie said...

Don't listen to the doctors. Do you know HOW MANY mamas they told this to? "you might as well terminate...save yourselves some time/pain/whatever...cos baby's not gonna make it anyway".

Sassy "He-LLO!" - listen up docs....G-d is the one in charge of that, not the arrogant docs. Hold firm, have faith, and open your hearts to accept what does come. It may be really, really wonderful beyond all belief.

Because each of us is connected to G-d, our own thoughts can affect physical reality, too. This is quantum physics and why prayer from afar has SCIENTIFICALLY been proven to help. Vibes are real. Thoughts are real. We are more than our DNA and genes. What we eat, think and do moment to moment has the potential to recreate our selves, and certainly a little thing growing inside us! Refuse to think or believe anything scary or negative.

Oh, and on a practical note, do eat more choline. Google Choline Down Syndrome pregnancy to find the studies. Ok I found something easily.

http://www.sciencemagnews.com/more-choline-for-pregnant-nursing-women-could-reduce-down-syndrome-dysfunction-guard-against-dementia.html

I sent this to all the OB's I could think of in our town. I want them to start thinking positively, and what to DO to HELP, to ENHANCE. People with Ds have so much beauty, so much potential so much LOVE....instead of their seeming eugenics program to rid the world of people with Ds :(

I'd like to share several blogs I really love as well. Einstein Syndrome blog and listserv. DSTNI yahoo group. DownSyndrome InfoExchange Yahoo group. RiverbendDs.org and Superdownsyndrome.blogspot.com

and this article
http://einstein-syndrome.com/2009/04/11/top-15-things-a-new-parent-should-know/

TUC said...

I am so happy for that Sienna was kicking you. I will keep praying for more.

Rachel Washburn said...

I bet that was such a sweet feeling to feel her kicking. You are in our thoughts and prayers! We wish you the best!

Owen and Krae said...

That's awesome Teresa! I'm glad that someone educated was able to give you a little bit of hope. Miracles do happen, even if it's just a little kick to let you know she's still there. I hope she kicks you till you bruise! ;)

Rochelle said...

We will keep praying for you & Sienna. Miracles happen all the time. Thankful that you were able to get some great information from that nurse and that she is kicking away. Go Sienna go!

Branden and Mindy said...

I have a friend that only got to hold her baby for 96 minutes and she knew throughout most of her pregnancy that the baby wouldn't live very long if at all. Her little boy didn't have kidneys...at all! she was told by this non profit organization called Angel Watch to do special things with the baby as if he were here already. I know it can seem weird but she IS with you! You are feeling her inside you! Enjoy those times and only Heavenly Father knows if she will get to be with you here in this second estate. You are a strong girl-you'll get through this. I love your attitude and I am learning so much from you! Keep your chin up and I pray for you every day!!! Love you lots!!

Brad Stone said...

Teresa, I've seen you grow a lot over the past few months. Life's challenges and trials have a way of molding us into what God wants us to be. Remember that this life is but a moment in the eternal scheme of things, and the door that is between this life and the next is sometimes left a little open for us to peer through. I like this quote from Edgar Allen Poe:

The boundaries which divide life from death
are at best shadowy and vague.
Who shall say where one ends,
and the other begins?

Know the love that I and your Mom share for you and Quin. Look heavenward for answers and comfort, and they will come as the dews from heaven and shower you with peace and joy.

Love, Dad

Heather said...

I want to really give you another reason to hold onto hope and that is in the form of another miracle girl.Her name is Kaelyn and she is now over a year old.She too had growth issues while waiting to enter this world and also had a major heart defect,a few in fact.She came early and tiny,2 pounds 11 ounces and she not only made it but thrived.Please visit her blog.She and her family also live in Utah and would be a a great source of support.(feistykaelyn.blogspot.com)

Our children have magic in that extra chromosome.With that Magic and God by our side,anything,anything at all, is possible!

Mindy said...

Teresa,
I think you are an amazing little mother. You have such a lovely heart and I know that Heavenly Father is aware of you and Quin. He has given you that sweet little girl and I can tell that she has blessed you so much already. Hang in there and know that you are loved.

Envyshope said...

You are amazing! Bless you and your sweet Sienna! Teresa - you are doing a great job. Keep the faith.

Tracy said...

Our family is joining yours in the petition of prayer. Miracles do happen! Hugs!
Go see our little miracle if you feel up to it at
http://stinkerie.blogspot.com

P said...

I read your post as she is still here FOR YOU rather than "with you", some angels and blessings come to us in tricky forms. But you both have Gramdma to guide you now and forever. Peace and prayers. Be strong but also weak and supported with only all the love sometimes too.

Kellan's momma said...

She is telling you not to give up!! I most certainly believe there is a plan for you and Sienna, and her kicks were her way of saying "I'm here, Momma!!" I will be praying for you guys like crazy!!

Jeana said...

Teresa,
I just saw the comment you left on Kaelyn's blog and i would LOVE to talk to you. Please email me jeanabonner@gmail.com . We live very close to you. We'll be praying for your little girl, I know that is how we still have ours with us.

Holly Wolly said...

praying for you and your Sienna...hoping her kicking is a sign of her strength and determination...

Monica said...

Doctors can be wrong, so don't lose hope. How wonderful that Sienna gave you a special sign that she's alive and kicking. I'll pray for you that she's a fighter and strong. I admire you for choosing life for your child and trusting that God in His infinite wisdom knows what He's doing.