Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My True Feelings

After I got over the fact that Sienna has a chance to live then everything hit me. I got so overwhelmed by what I am going to do, how I am going to raise her, is she going to be made fun of cause she is different, etc etc. I had a major break down the day after I found out. I couldn't breath I was crying so hard. Everything became a reality. I have two sister in laws who are having healthy girls around the time that I am and I am scared because my girl will be slower then them. When they hit their milestones it will still take Sienna another year to hit hers and I wonder if she won't be as good as friends with her cousins because she will be slower. It just has scared me so much then my friend sent my a blog address with people who are going through exactly what I am going through and I spent hours reading blog after blog of these mothers with the same down syndrome child and I started to feel better. There is hope out there. These down syndrome children are such special spirits. All they need is a body and they are so perfect. Sienna's mission on this earth will be to come down and bless the lives of others because she is so perfect she won't have to be tested. She is here for us.
I feel so overwhelmed by the spirit and that heavenly father trusts me and my husband to raise such a precious daughter of his. And I have had people that say we are special to have someone so perfect come down to us and I feel so unworthy for him to have chosen us. She will be a great blessing in our lives and she will have a big brother who will be her major protector.
I know our journey will be challenging but so rewarding. I just want to get her here safe and sound.

47 comments:

TUC said...

So real, so beautiful!

Congratulations! I am excited to follow along on your journey.

Rochelle said...

Congratulations, Sienna is a beautiful name.
You are so right she will be a complete blessing not only to your family but to others you will meet along your journey.
We look forward to following your journey.

Angela said...

Welcome to the family! It is hard, yes. It is different, yes. But you will be blown away at how blessed you are.

Holly Wolly said...

What a beautiful name you have chosen for your lucky daughter! Your words are true and honest and you'll probably go up and down emotionally for a bit, at least we did. My daughter Brooke was born this past January with DS, we found out when I was 23 weeks because she also had a heart defect (with successful open heart surgery in May). She's our fourth child and we thought we had it all figured out, haha...she showed us!
My blog is waligorafam.blogspot.com if you'd like to see her...she's super cute!!

Kimberly said...

Congratulations on your daughter! My daughter with Ds is 16 months and a complete joy.

Cory said...

As the mother of a son who has "designer genes" I think that already you are adopting the best attitude. Although I never felt sadness after River's Dx when he was born, I know that it is typical and common for parents to go through that process. But I think that you will absolutely be pleasantly surprised. And as far as being around other woman with kiddo's close in age to your own, don't let it overwhelm you. It is a temporary time frame, and your child may be a bit behind, but she will get there. And little little kids are usually pretty kind to each other unless they have some snobby grown-up teaching them to be biased.
Good Luck and God Bless. It will be a wonderful journey.

Cory said...

As the mother of a son who has "designer genes" I think that already you are adopting the best attitude. Although I never felt sadness after River's Dx when he was born, I know that it is typical and common for parents to go through that process. But I think that you will absolutely be pleasantly surprised. And as far as being around other woman with kiddo's close in age to your own, don't let it overwhelm you. It is a temporary time frame, and your child may be a bit behind, but she will get there. And little little kids are usually pretty kind to each other unless they have some snobby grown-up teaching them to be biased.
Good Luck and God Bless. It will be a wonderful journey.

Courtney said...

Hi Teresa, and congratulations on your pregnancy! I have a 3 year old ray of sunshine named Lucy, that has Ds. It's so coincidental that I am reading your post today because I was just reflecting how I felt when Lucy was born and diagnosed.

This weekend she was singing her ABC song, and picking up crayons, and quarreling with her brother, and brushing her too-long bangs out of her eyes and I was blown away. I looked at my husband and said, "On the day Lucy was born, if I had a 30 second glimpse at this child sitting in front of me, I never would have shed a tear."

Now clearly that's not totally true, because there have been truly difficult moments, but her life has been such a miraculous, soul changing, joy to me. Come visit us whenever you'd like: http://mutteringmama.blogspot.com

xoxo

Penny said...

welcome to our ds community! our wyatt (ds) is 13 months old and has brought us so much joy! he truly is a blessing to our family, friends, and church family! may God bless you in the weeks and days to come! i also blog! (www.pennyspeeps.blogspot.com)
great to meet you! hugs!

Cindy said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I found out my son would have DS at our U/S too. I was so scared until I found a group of REALLY fabulous parents at NADS.org. They pulled me in, set me back on my feet and helped prepare me for one of the most precious adventures I've yet to undertake. And Noah was my SIXTH child. I felt like you...since my daughter was pregnant with twins same time as I was, due just a few months earlier. All worked out...but prepare to have your heart tugged on every day and to see rainbows where others only see rain...roses where others find only weeds. It is a joyous ride...this ride you are about to take. Buckle up and enjoy it.

Gabriel's mom said...

Congratulations, welcome to our community! You will find the Down syndrome community is one of the most caring and understanding communities you have never know existed. Our Gabriel will be 2 August 20th. He is amazing young man! Understand that with the sadness of her not being just like her cousins you will have so much pride that it will matter less and less. You little Sienna will be an amazing star who will brighten your whole family! Her big brother will not be her only protector, her new cousins will have a special place in their hearts! Again, Welcome to our community. If you EVER have any questions please feel free to contact me through my son's blog. If I do not know the answer I would be more than happy to find someone who does.

Steph said...

I love this post. It's so true...really!

My name is Stephanie and I have a 15 month old daughter, Faith, born with Down syndrome. You will TRULY be blessed by your sweet Sienna Marie...and so will others around you :)

Big Hugs,
Stephanie

Jess said...

Congratulations, welcome to a community that will change your life forever, in a wonderful way! My daughter, Serenity, is 3...she has Ds and has had three open heart surgeries...she is absolutely amazing and I learn more from her than anyone could teach me in years!! She is the most determined little girl you will ever meet and has the personality of a pistol!! If you haven't, please take a look and read this: http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html I look forward to getting to know you and meeting Sienna when she arrives!

PrincessKCRoo said...

Congratulations! Sienna is a beautiful name. You're not alone on this journey. My son, Austin, is 5 months old and has Down syndrome. He is my most precious blessing and has changed me in ways I can't even begin to describe. Sienna will do the same things as her cousins....it may take her a little longer and it may not, but she WILL do everything that they do.

Gabriel's mom is right, the DS community is one of the most caring and understanding. I look forward to following your journey.

Carrie said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the family!!

We found out prenatally that Miss B had Ds and a heart defect and I can remember going through all the emotions that you wrote about so well. Miss B is 16 months now and is quite the little diva! When I look back at all the worries I had after the diagnosis, I realize just how blessed we were/are and all the little ways that Heavenly Father showed us that He loved us. I hope it will be the same for you! I'll be following along!

Casey and Diana said...

OH Teresa that was beautiful. When times get hard remember that Heavenly Father promises us that we will never get more than we can handle. She could not be coming into better hands. Not only will she bless your lives but YOU will be a blessing to her! You are both very lucky :) And you are so right, she is perfect and just needs to come get her body, how special! I read that you don't feel worthy, but clearly Heavenly Father has faith in you to take care of this special spirit so have faith in yourself :D YOu will both do great. I love this new blog! I'll be following along for sure. Good luck!

Casey and Diana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mlfont said...

welcome to the family!!! I have 4 kids and my youngest, Parker (14months) has DS. Know you aren't alone, these blogs were my saving grace after we got the news. We all know how you feel and are there to hold you up on the tough days, but more importantly we celebrate the joyful days/milestones and there are LOTS!!!! Looking forward to following your journey with Sienna! Blessings!

Denise said...

I don't have anything new to add that all of the other moms above haven't already written. I have a little 2 year old girl with Ds who is the light of our lives. If you choose to check out our blog, let me forewarn you that she is currently being treated for leukemia (one of the unfortunate things our kids with Ds have a higher chance of) but she is doing awesome and her fighting spirit really shines on. And that is what you can expect from your little Sienna Marie (love the name) as she takes you on her journey. Congrats on your beautiful blessing!!

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

Welcome to "the club"!! We adopted our little guy with Ds (16 months old - had open heart surgery at 5 months (AV Canal) - and is completely healthy now!).
"We often think that having a child with T21 is like gaining membership to a secret club, a club you never knew you wanted to be in or even existed, but once you are in, you are so thankful that you were chosen."
Our biological 4 yr old daughter loves her brother so much she says she's going to marry him!
Congratulations!
P.S. We have a friend with a daughter who has trisomy 13 - she is 4 yrs old - the doctors said she wouldn't live more than a few days!

Debbie said...

Tree, your new blog is wonderful. I'm excited to see your journey with cute little Sienna. I am also very happy to see all these wonderful people reaching out to you. It's nice to talk to people who know what you're going through. I may not know exactly how you're feeling, but I'm a mom who knows the good and bad days of motherhood. I'm always here if you need to talk. Love you!

Tay :) said...

Hi there! My name is Taylah and I am 15 :)
My godson and cousin Oscar is 2 and has DS and boy am I so glad he does! Seriously, it is such a blessing and I am so exited you are going to experiance it! I was so scared when he was born. I went agains God and questioned why. Why wasn't he like everyone elce? Why did he suffer? Little did I know God sent him into my life with Down syndrome for so many reasons, one being to be drawn closer to him :) God is so amazing! If you would like to read my blog it is...
www.ozzysstory.blogspot.com
and my email is...
cute-volcom@hotmail.com
Please feel free to email me! I would love to be apart of your journey!
I also have a nextdoor naighbour (I call my sister) who is 3 months younger then Oscar. Annie loves him to death. She understands he is differant, but loves him just the same. Annies brothers are 3 and 6 and understand Down syndrome a little better then Annie does. They accept Oscar the way he is and love him to death!
Honestly, it is how the chidren are being bought up, if they have Down syndrome as apart of their life at an early age I believe they will accept it a whole lot more.
There will always be selfish horrible people and it hurts so bad when you face them but you need to remember, YOU ARE BLESSED! God created your child in His picture, and she will be perfect. You will appreciate the little things a whole lot more too. When Oscar started holding his bottle by himself we were so exited for like a month, seriously! It so great! And you will learn so so so much! Can't wait to hear from you!

Runningmama said...

Just found your blog through Down Syndrome New Mama...the name you have picked for your daughter is perfect as is she. My 14 month old also has DS, her name is Emily. I would love for you to come meet her at http://livinglifewithes.blogspot.com. You will be amazed at how "normal" your life will be. But, allow yourself some time to grieve...in the meantime, all of us bloggin' mamas will be here for you. Feel free to contact me with any and all questions livinglifewithes@yahoo.com

Kelli

CJ said...

Sienna may do things slower than her same-age peers, but that girl will EARN every milestone and both of you will appreciate the success even more. Not a moment will be taken for granted. And because of this, she will become stronger, more determined and just a bit more blessed because of the work she will have behind her! And she will do what she will do when she will do it. And in some ways, she will be above and beyond what any typical kid will ever be or know. Because she's SIENNA. Not that child with Downs. Not someone with a disability. But SIENNA. And that's all that will matter.

Scarehaircare said...

The Love Magnet brings us incredible joy and adventure we never would have known without her. There are times I still have doubts and worries, even after 8 years. I wouldn't change anything about my daughter.

I'm looking forward to reading more about your sweet little girl.

j*e*n said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! Can't wait to "meet" Sienna Marie and see how much joy she will bring to your family. The other moms are right--our little angels with the little extra have changed our lives for the better. There will always be bumps in the road but that's part of the territory for parents. You'll have lots of people praying for you & with you for this new princess. She will be a blessing!

Brent & Jodie said...

Welcome to the amazing world of having a child with Down syndrome!! I can feel the love you already have for Sienna and I am in awe of your spirit and your courage.

My name is Jodie and my husband and I adopted our son Tyler six years ago this month. (He turned six in June.)

Tyler is amazing and fun and stubborn and smart and hilarious and a miracle in our lives! Yes, he is learning things more slowly than his typical peers but that's okay. When he does accomplish something new it is a celebration!

These children are incredible gifts from our Heavenly Father. I fully believe that they are sent to this earth to teach us, not the other way around. Yes, it is challenging. Yes, it is sometimes frustrating. But the rewards are eternal.

Please don't hesitate to email me anytime. I pray that things will continue to go well for your family. And never fear, you are in good company in the Down syndrome community. You will be uplifted and loved!!

Carol said...

Congratulations on the new baby at your house!!! There is nothing quite like them!! My 7th child, and second daughter has DS and she is turning 10 Aug 19!! Honestly, she is a blast. She has made our lives so much fun. You have not idea the great times ahead of you all! It's been a JOY.
We are celebrating her double digit birthday with a SURPRISE party that includes both typical and kids with special needs, since Miss Christine is a friend to ALL.
She is going to be beside herself when she walks in that door.....
anyway, try not to worry too much. ENJOY your pg, and look forward to your new baby!

sara p said...

hi, first i want to say congratulation on your wonderful, beautiful, perfect soon to be addition to your family. i can't say i know exactly what you are going through, with max we found out he was born with Down syndrome after he was born,
the best advice that i can give is what my grandma said to me, when i was worried about his future, (i could stop thinking about his future.) any ways she said to me "sara, what makes you think you can plan anyones future out for them. you can't plan out lilly (maxs older sister) life you never know the future with any child, so why put that pressure on you about max. all you need to do is give love and teach him everything you can about life... the same with lilly." for some reason that really helped me. and you know Down syndrome doesn't define who max is, it is just a small part of what makes max who he is and i love that... because he is the coolest 20 month old i know:)
i have found that people are so positive when max is around he can make a stranger smile(when if max wasn't with me i don't think they would have.)
again i know at first the news is scary, but i think that just mainly do to the unknown about DS. you need to remember that your daughter is a beautiful baby first and foremost... who just happens to have Down Syndrome... it's not who she is, it just a small part the makes her extra special:) it seems some of the articles you might read like to put limitations on our children, but just like max did for me your little one is going to continue to surprise you, she is going to accomplish things you never thought were possible... our children are amazing, and i am thankful to have my max in my life:)
feel free to check out what our family is up to on our blog.
http://lifewithextras.blogspot.com/

i'm looking forward to following your family:) i can't wait to see pictures of your beautiful girl:)

Amy Flege said...

first of all, congratulations!! God has given you an amazing gift!! I have a daughter who is 4, names Mayson. We did not know she had DS until after she was born. But WOW... she has taken us on one amazing journey so far and we have also gained another family.. the DS family!

I will be praying for you and your sweet Sienna. You can always check out my blog at http://theflegefarm.blogspot.com

Arizona mom to eight said...

Congratulations, a sweet baby girl, she will be the most beautiful baby you have ever seen, and you will love her more than you ever thought was possible!

I have one by birth daughter with Down syndrome and three we adopted in 2007 and 2008.

Owen and Krae said...

I want you to know that Sienna is going to teach and bless EVERYONE in our family, that includes both of her little cousins who are going to absolutely love her! I believe they are LUCKY to have Sienna as their cousin and have no doubt that all three of them will get into plenty of trouble and that they will all be best friends! :)

We love you and are excited for this journey. And you're right, you definitely are the perfect family for this little spirit to come home to. We cannot wait to meet her! :)

Adrienne said...

I know everyone has said this but Sienna will bless your life beyond what you've ever known. I have 3 children and Bennett is my third and there is just something about him that I can't explain. You will be blown away! Can't wait to "meet" little Sienna!

Yo Mamma Mamma! said...

Welcome! You might want to join us over on the Down syndrome Pregnancy Board at Baby Center - http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a14515/down_syndrome_pregnancy

lots of other moms are on the board waiting to meet their little ones with DS. I have a 3 year old with DS and she is so much fun. Check her out on the videos on my blog...
http://yomammamamma.blogspot.com/

Stephanie @ Ralphcrew said...

Congrats! I'm so happy that you have decided to blog. I have a 3 year old son with DS. I can remember what it felt like to tell our other children and feeling that it might be a burden to them. But truly, it is a blessing to them and us. We are all more compassionate, loving and accepting of all people now than we were before Ralphie came into our lives. Your daughter will be the same blessing to your family and her cousins as well.

Stephanie Nance
www.ralphcrew.blogspot.com
www.psalmsixtyeight.blogspot.com

Wren said...

Congratulations on your little girl!!!! Sienna is a beautiful name and I can't wait to see the cute face that goes along with it! I'm relatively new the Ds world, but so far it's been great! My son Sutter was born on 1/16/10 and we didn't find out until after he was born that he had Ds. It took a couple of weeks to wrap our heads around it, but in all honesty he has been such a joy and blessing.

Feel free to stop by and say hi or ask questions!

http://eachdayisanewjourney.blogspot.com/

Amy, queen of the world. said...

Congratulations on your sweet little girl! We found out via amniocentesis that our little guy had an extra chromosome, and we felt the same way you feel right now. It's so scary to speculate what life will be like. I know that feeling of somehow feeling ill-equipped to be the mom of such a precious person. My sweet guy is now 7 months old, and I know how cliche this sounds, but he has taught me the meaning of true, real, unconditional love. So congratulations and welcome to the designer gene club!! :)

Megan said...

Congratulations on having a daughter!!

I want to share with you that my brother has another form of special needs, very severe disability in the form of cerebral palsy. He is physically so different than most people you meet!! But he is truly one of my best friends. Our childhood and teenage years, and adult years, have all been very fun-filled sibling years together with lots of tender moments and mischief just like people would hope to see. It has been different than your typical family life in many ways, but so much the same that it would really shock most people! Have confidence that your baby Sienna is going to be beloved by her cousins and doted upon and fit right in her her family just no problem at all. :)

Angi B said...

Congratulations! I can't wait to see your little one when she gets here. Raising my son has been the BEST and hardest love of my life. You have such a rich, loving, and surprising world ahead of you.

Rachel said...

You've started early by blogging and surrounding yourself with such a positive and blessed community of people. I only started blogging 1 year in and am so thankful to have taken that step. When ever I have a question or concern, there is great help that comes my way and Aubrey has certainly benefited from her "friends" around the country. Welcome Sienna! (check out this one:
http://www.kellehampton.com/
She really does capture the beauty of life and our little ones:)

Tracy said...

Hi Teresa!
Congrats on your baby girl! I wanted to invite you to my blog! My little Jack is coming up on 9 months old and he's an awesome joy!
Welcome to the Ds community!
http://stinkerie.blogspot.com

Diane said...

Sienna Marie is a beautiful name. I, like so many before me, want to encourage and support you are you enter this amazing journey as a parent of a child with Down syndrome. We have 2 daughters with Ds. Lera Faith is a Russian orphan we are bring home soon to join our family. Lillian Grace is 16 months and came to us via emergency c-sect at 34 weeks, 4 pounds, with multiple congenital heart defects, severe pulmonary hypertension plus more on Mach 13,2009. She was taken from our local hospital to St. Mary's in Rochester (Mayo Clinic) MN. She spent the first 8 months as an inpatient in heart failure. Doctors gave us little hope but today Lillian has no evidence of cardiac disease, no pulmonary hypertension, and is on no medications...she is a healthy little girl with Down syndrome. We were also told she would not verbalize or creep/crawl/ walk until about 3-4 years. She has been saying Mama, dada, since Jan. and has added nite-nite, no-no while shaking her head no since then. She has been sitting up since Feb., climbing up on our funiture to stand, and walks all over the house with us holding her hands. She will be walking independently by Christmas before she turns 2. She is our miracle.She is our fourth daughter and we have learned so much about life from her. We are closer as a family that I ever thought was possible. We have a more intimate relationship in our faith. We are overwhelmingly blessed everyday that God chose us to be her parents. I invite you to read both our blogs...www.caringbridge.org/visit/higbie. This takes you thru Lillian's first 15months of life. Thru the heart surgeries and all the hard stuff that can come with trisomy 21. Then theres www.savinglera.blogspot.com. Thats where we are now fighting to save Lera from being placed in an institution for the rest of her life by adopting her and bringing her home. I also have hundreds of pics on my Facebook as that was the only way I could share them with family while Lillian was in the hospital. You can find my facebook at the_library_princess@yahoo.com.

God bless you and walk beside you every step of the journey.

Diane Higbie

patricia said...

congrats on your pregnancy! My princess is 18 months old and PURE JOY! I love the name you have chosen for your princess! I look forward to following your blog and your wonderful journey.

Kelly said...

Congradulations on your little princess. My princess will be turning 4 this year...where does the time go! Welcome to the best group of people that I have ever met. It will be a great journey and I will be following it. If you would like to follow Chloe's here is the link to my blog...
http://lotempio.blogspot.com/

Elissa said...

I totally know how you feel. My brother and his girlfriend gave birth to a little boy 10 days after Abbie was born. My sister will be having her baby in two weeks. It will be hard to watch them pass Abbie in development, but I know that Abbie will do things in her own time. When all is said and done, no one will be asking when she hit these baby milestones.

Michelle R. Slape said...

Welcome to the sisterhood! My 4 year old has Down Syndrome and everything you are going through I can relate to - the questions, the fear, the unknown.

I used to be worried about milestones and the delay of them, but honestly, I love that I had the chance to enjoy my Cody as a baby longer than I did with my older son and I am mostly enjoying that every milestone is just more amazing when he reaches them! I still cry at every milestone he makes and appreciate them even more!

The journey of parenting a child with Down Syndrome is an amazing one and I know I am a better person because of it!!

Again, welcome to the sisterhood! There is such a great resource in the online community!