Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Waiting is no fun

I feel like it has been a year since we found out everything about Sienna. Time seems to slow down a lot. I go in tomorrow for them to measure her to see if she has grown at all and we will know if there is hope from there. I am praying for a miracle but I know it isn't in my hands anymore. I have a cute story that made my day. I got this lamb from my parents neighbor and a sweet card that went a long with it. When I got home that day I put the lamb in amongst all of Gavin's stuffed animals thinking that Sienna wouldn't be playing with it so I can just give it to Gavin. Well the next day while Gav was playing with his toys he saw this lamb. He immediately picked up the lamb and marched over to me and said "But Mommy this is baby sisters!" He refused to play with it cause it was his sisters. I then asked him if he wanted me to save it for when she comes and he said yes so it is sitting on his dresser waiting for Sienna. I wish I had the faith and hope that my 2 year old did that day of knowing she will make it.
I was at my grandma's funeral last weekend and Sienna was kicking so much that day. It made me feel so good and I felt my grandma there and I could picture her and Sienna sitting there watching the funeral. Last week we have been discussing about burying her if she doesn't make it. It is a little pricey and we were worried about coming up with the money but at the cemetery at my grandma's funeral I could see my husband walking around looking at all the headstones and after everyone left my mom handed me the last two roses she had left from people putting on the casket and she told me to go put those roses on for Sienna. I lost it right after she said that because moments like a funeral made everything so real to me of her passing away and I did not want that to happen. I want her to fight for her life so we can raise her. My husband held me tight after I put those roses on and said he doesn't care about the money and that we are going to bury her so we have a place to go see her every year. I hope that we don't have to but if we did that it would be nice to have a place to go every year. Now I wish this waiting game is over. I don't like the unknown. I wish I knew everything right now. But I am sure learning a lot of patience which I probably need to learn right now.

13 comments:

Jenny said...

I cant even begin to imagine how hard all this waiting must be for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little family.

Rochelle said...

Teresa,
We are continuing to pray for you and Sienna.
I can't remember if I told you this earlier but our Alayna wasn't growing either. She came at 37 weeks 1 day, was 4 lbs 13 1/2 oz and was in perfect health. She is now 22 months old and 22 pounds and doing fantastic.
Try not to lose hope or faith. God does work miracles all the time.
That is such a great sign that she is still kicking away.
Will pray that she has grown even a little when you go to the doctor tomorrow.
I love how your son picked out her lamb and made sure it was put up for her. Sweet!

Envyshope said...

Praying for strength for you, your husband, your son, and Sienna. We are lifting all of you up in prayer each night!

Owen and Krae said...

Gavin is the biggest sweetheart on the planet. He's already looking out for his special little sister. :) There's something special about a bond between siblings. :) Let me know how your appointment goes! We're praying for you, as always. Love you!

Amy Flege said...

still praying for that miracle...

Zoey's mom said...

I hear you are meeting Jeana and I am so hoping that meeting her and especially the very darling Kaelyn,will renew your faith and restore your hope.Also,stories shared like Alayna from above,or Zoey who was small and came with so many extras, will reconfirm the magic in the extra chromosome!

Hold tightly to faith and hope.Sometimes,it's all we have.

Gabriel's mom said...

We are praying for your family's strength and for a miracle!

Steph said...

Praying for you and your sweet Sienna....hugs and blessings to you both!

Shayla Finlinson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shayla Finlinson said...

Tree I was so touched by that sweet story about Gavin and his little sister... I think thats why Jesus said that we need to become like little children, they are amazing.. their faith is so pure... I love you Tree and can't wait to hear how it goes tomorrow. I too am also praying for a miracle because I know you would do an amazing job at raising her. You are an amazing girl and I look up to you so much.. Love you Tree so so much... We will keep you in our prayers...

Angie said...

I agree...waiting isn't fun! And Gavin is the cutest little boy ever!! What a sweetie! You are doing an amazing job with all of this! Keep your chin up, have faith, and turn it all over to the Lord - He will never leave you! I love ya and will do anything for ya! Keep me posted tomorrow :) Good luck - you are in my prayers!

Tracy said...

Teresa,
I check your blog several times each day for news. I too am praying for a miracle. Surely with so many praying, God must hear! My heart to yours.

Jessica said...

This is my first time visiting and now I am so caught up in your story I am going to have to check back in on you all the time. I will hope and pray that everything goes well for little SIenna and things take a turn for the better. You and your family are in my thoughts.